I have to say it, I think Santa Claus is out of line.

J Bomb has been to sit on Santa’s knees twice this year. He hasn’t done that before, he was a bit too frightened and I didn’t push this issue. We don’t talk up the whole Santa bringing presents deal, of course he is looking forward to Santa’s bounty, we don’t need to hype him up about it. I prefer to talk more about the Nativity and the real meaning of Christmas. Each time Santa has asked him what he would like for Christmas, and J has widened his eyes in surprise and thought carefully about his response in the same way you or I would if we were given an open cheque. The first time he seriously replied that he would like some chocolate coins. Santa looked a bit shocked at such a modest request, and then answered, “I think we can handle something that.” I was a it shocked by an absolute promise, but agreed with Santa, it was an easy gift to include in the stocking. Luckily for Santa I don’t have an issue/allergy/abhorence to my child eating chocolate coins. The J Bomb came home and very excitedly told The Accountant that Santa was bringing him chocolate coins for Christmas.

The next visit to Santa, Jonty answered the gift enquiry with a long detailed report on how his toy chainsaw wasn’t working at optimal performance. (Believe me, it is working, the household occupants needs ear muffs when it starts up.) Santa had no idea what the J Bomb was talking about and looked at me in bewilderment, I simply said, “He wants a new chainsaw.” Santa (probably appropriately) looked horrified, whereby I hastened to add, “A toy chainsaw, his old one isn’t working properly.”

“Oh!” said a much relieved Santa, “If I bring you a chainsaw, will you come to my house and chop up firewood for me?”

Now the J Bomb thinks he is going to receive the noisiest toy in history AND he thinks he gets to go to Santa’s digs.

And then there’s the Santa who came to Playzone today. I think Santa has jumped on the whole subliminal advertising bandwagon. Is nothing sacred anymore? I think Santy is getting kickbacks from Adidas. Next thing we’ll be seeing advertising on the side of his sleigh…