Our family is having a mini holiday at the beach at the moment. Yesterday morning at 7:40am Daddy decided we should all go to the beach. Don’t you love it how men think it’s just that simple?
In Mummy World going to the beach requires strategy, planning and organisation. Operation Beach Visit requires bags packed with spare clothes, prams, towels, sunscreen, nappies, wipes, creams, camera, beach toys, drinks, hats, shoes, bottles, food packed in little containers for a picnic on the beach. The bags are sorted into categories such as “Towel bag”, “Clothing and related items”, “Toys” and “Food and Drinks”. Things are packed into the bag so that there is always enough (and spares) for everyone. The beach visit is careful timed to co-incide with baby sleep times when they are at optimal waking hours.
In Daddy World nothing is too hard. You chuck some stuff together and head to the beach. It’s too easy! Little regard is given to the time, you are guided purely by the need to plunge yourself into the cool blue ocean water. And as for the kids. Well, Daddies know that they are going to love it, so what is there to worry about?
So. When Daddy suggested a trip to the beach at 7:40 this morning, all my Mummy alarms started clanging. “Are you kidding me? The babies have already started wailing since it’s 20 minutes until their nap time, I need to breastfeed, how are we going to get ready, what will happen the rest of the day if we go now? etc. etc.”
But today instead of ‘being sensible’ I decided to overide the Mummy alarms and roll with the Daddy plan of action. After all, Daddy takes the big boys to the beach all the time on a whim and they always come back safe, sound and very happy. I figured the beach is just across the road, so if it all goes terribly, horribly wrong, we can just come home and as for the missed sleeps, the babies will just have to catch them up later in the day.
And guess what? (You’ve already guessed, I’m sure.) It was entirely the right thing to do! Happy family memories. That’s what happened on the beach this morning.
|Daddy in the sand building business.|
Sure, the babies were tired.
|Missy was particularly tired. She refused to sit on the sand even!|
But the longer they sat on the beach, the more they forgot their tiredness and just had fun.
After awhile even Missy forgot her issues with the sand and plunged into a bit of sand excavation. (And possibly a bit of sand consumption too.)
And importantly, the big boys had a great time and didn’t have to fit into the triplet’s agenda (again) and wait all morning before finally making it outside.
And all the carefully packed bags that were missing? We did fine with the items that were haphazardly chucked under the pram. The Accountant is actually pretty good at remembering basic necessities, and let’s face it, that’s normally the main things you need anyway. Sure there were some shortfalls, such as not having enough towels. (Complicated further by me dropping one clean towel in the water!) But the thing is, it’s fine to improvise!
The truth is, we need Mummy World and Daddy World. We can’t always be totally spontaneous and operating on the basics. But us ladies need to loosen up sometimes and just go with the flow. Most importantly of all, by suspending our own need to stick to baby routines, schedules and the need to be in control, we honour our husbands. We are acknowledging that his desire as a father is also to give our children the best opportunities. It is validating his masculinity and recognising that parenting works best as a dual team combining both female and male elements to cater for our children’s individual needs and their innate desire to be loved and know that their parents think that they are wonderful.
|Altogether a lovely morning with my family.|
What’s some differences between Mummy World and Daddy World in your home?