Being a Triplet Mum: The Persistant IVF Question…

“Oh! You’re having triplets! Wow.”

Pause.

Then the inevitable question.

“So, did you do IVF?”

Of course there are many ways that people ask this question. Most are not subtle.

Or there is what I consider a more hideous variation of the question.

“Are they natural?”

I know what they mean, they’re simply asking if I had assisted reproductive technology. But it makes me feel that if admit I did IVF I’m saying, “No, my children are unnatural.”

My children aren’t unnatural.  The egg and sperm weren’t joined in the traditional manner, but at the end of the day it was a bonafide egg and an absolute au naturale sperm. Surely these two natural ingredients can create a natural child. Just because a scientist briefly helped in the union of said sperm and egg, doesn’t create synthetic people.

It’s strange that it bothers me. I can understand people being curious. I would be too.

Although I don’t think I would have asked a complete stranger two seconds after meeting her. I would have been worried that I was being rude. (And I think I would be right in that assumption.)

And as much as I’m getting used to the question and trying to find the best way to answer it, it does feel confronting. I need to find a good answer, because from what I’ve heard, I won’t stop being asked it after the kids are born.

I was always very open telling people that Toddler T was an IVF baby. To me, the journey through IVF and infertility is always connected with my pregnancies. People’s responses when hearing that Toddler T was an IVF baby were compassionate. Their words/unspoken body language changed as they recognised that this pregnancy/baby was a child who was long desired for and one that his parent’s were willing to go to considerable emotional, financial and physical effort in order to bring him up in a loving family.

I guess this illustrates why the IVF question now bothers me so much. People’s words or unspoken body language now express an entirely different sentiment. When I admit that they were IVF, all of a sudden there is a knowing look, a nod and a dismissal that this news is a little less exciting than it could have been.
A classic example was an old duck who worked, of all places, in a baby store. I was enquiring about triple strollers. Once she heard the I was having triplets, she started to fish for information beginning with the thinly veiled subtle approach.

“Triplets? Was that a surprise?”
“Yes, it certainly was.”
“But did you know you could have triplets?”
“No, I didn’t think I was going to have triplets.”

At which point she decides she needs more information and abandons the so called subtle approach.

“But did you do IVF?”
“Yes I did, but I never thought I would have triplets.”
Triumphant nod, as old duck has obtained the information that she sought.
“Yes, but you caused it to happen. Having three babies that is. They aren’t natural.”
“Well, when we did IVF we were hoping for one more child in our family.”
“But you didn’t put one egg in though. So that’s how this happens.”
“We only put two eggs in and one egg split, that’s why didn’t think we would have triplets.”
“Oh.” Body language changes to indicate that somehow the fact that we didn’t insert three eggs makes this somehow more acceptable.

I leave the store, (Without buying anything), feeling annoyed with myself that somehow I felt I should justify my choices to this complete stranger who obviously has no idea about IVF or infertility or multiples.

Let alone, the woman did not know that it’s impossible for a woman to get pregnant with triplets with IVF alone in Australia. In our country, you can’t legally use two embryos until you are over the age of 35 and at a decreased chance at achieving a multiple pregnancy. And two embryo’s are normally the maximum you may put in. I don’t think people understand that to have a triplet pregnancy in Australia there has been another factor rather than just IVF that has intervened.

I should note that there are many people, strangers and friends alike, that have heard the news and have celebrated it with us. They have talked about how it will be exciting (but busy!) to have three babies and what a blessing it will be. My church family particularly has been very supportive and right from the start been sensitive in the questions that are asked and celebrate the miracles that are growing within me.

I don’t mind so much people asking about conception if they know me well enough. I’m an open person. I don’t mind talking about IVF. And sometimes people are asking for personal reasons because they are contemplating/doing/have done IVF or know someone who is and want to hear about my experience. If a stranger was to say this to me when asking about IVF, I wouldn’t mind sharing my story one bit.

I need to remember also that most people aren’t meaning to be rude, they are merely curious.

However there are some factors that the curious public need to remember when they ask these personal questions to mother’s of multiples.

Firstly, just as a side, the parents who have conceived multiple babies ‘spontaneously’, get sick of this question also.

The parents who have received assisted reproductive technology have most likely been on a huge journey emotionally. They desperately have wanted children and have been willing to go to a lot of time, effort and money to achieve this dream. You don’t know what each individual journey has consisted of before reaching this joyous pregnancy. Often before they have become pregnant there have been multiple miscarriages, failed IVF attempts, many, many failed attempts at using fertility medicine, operations – to sum it up, there has been heartache, pain, sense of failure and devastation, before one day there is a happy moment of a positive pregnancy test. And then there is a second moment during an ultrasound when two or more babies are found. Even despite any initial shock, parents who have been infertile are normally overjoyed and determined to provide the best possible life to the children they thought they never may have.

There are reasons why parents have carefully deliberated over (in consultation with doctors) before placing more than one egg in during an IVF cycle. Either they do not have the funds to keep repeating the process of IVF until they achieve a pregnancy, or there have been failed attempts so placing more than one embryo gives a better chance at achieving a pregnancy. Most people would probably be very surprised to find out how many people have placed multiple embryo’s in the woman’s uterus during an IVF cycle and then have had no babies, or only one baby.

In any case, any mother that has the miracle of life being formed within her needs to hear comments that are supportive and uplifting. Most pregnancies have an element of challenge as women have all types of auxiliary issues to deal with it – from physical challenges, hormonal fluctuations or tiredness. So please, by sympathetic when you ask questions to any pregnant woman, including mothers with twins, triplets or more. And if
you are really curious, bite your tongue, unless you are given an avenue to politely ask, “Are they IVF?”

What are your thoughts on the subject? Do you think mother’s of multiples are being over sensitive? Have you felt awkward being asked if your children were IVF? If you are a mother of multiples, do you have a good answer when strangers ask if your kids are IVF?

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35 Comments

  1. I think it’s an incredibly rude question. It’s like asking, “Did you have to have sex a lot of times before you conceived? Did different positions help?” No one would EVER ask those questions, but they’re fine to ask you how you conceived if they think the answer will be IVF. It’s absolutely no one’s business how your babies were conceived, and I think you are a lot more patient than I would be.

    I don’t even remember the IVF thing most of the time. You’re just my bloggy friend who’s having three babies – and that’s an amazing, wonderful gift from God.

  2. Oh, I so agree with you. It is rude! In some cases, couples have chosen not to talk about their IVF experiences, and so asking that question forces them into a situation where they either have to lie or reveal something they didn’t intend to.

    Having had two ART babies myself, the interesting thing that also strikes me about the ‘is it IVF’ question, is that most people wouldn’t actually grasp the implications of the answer anyway. By that, I mean that few people really understand the intricacies of IVF and that no one IVF journey is the same as the next.

    Besides, you’re probably more likely to fall pregnant with higher order multiples on an unmonitored clomid cycle than by using IVF, which – as you mentioned – is so strictly regulated in this country.

    Finally, congratulations on your triplets. Such a blessing!

  3. I understand how it can be seen to be rude… some people are as blunt as blunt come… If I were to ask the question, it would only be that I know how much pain and anguish usually goes into an IVF baby and usually how long awaited they are. Women (and husbands) who go through IVF have to made of such strong stuff to with stand the pressure. I had never seen how that question might feel from the mother’s view. Your beautiful babies are such an amazing gift and I love reading your blog. I celebrate with you and commend you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I pray God’s strength for you for the rest of your pregnancy and… well with 5 kids I pray strength for you…. forever!! lol

  4. Oh, I totally understand where you are coming from….with 2 sets of twins I’m amazed at perfect strangers questions and reactions, I’m sure it’s even more so with triplets. My response to the natural question varies on my mood when asked…. sometimes I’ll just say “Well, they look pretty natural to me.” What I want to say is “No, they are synthetic.”
    I have found the best way to answer questions about IVF is to just say, “We had to do IVF to have babies and we are open to life, so having twins twice is a blessing and we are thankful.” Then will come the question, “But you’re finished, right? You aren’t going to have more ae you?” Ha!

  5. Blah. Yes, crankiness abounds over this issue. I think one of the things that makes my blood boil is the (unspoken) perception that for some reason, IVF triplets are ‘less special’ than triplets that were conceived without intervention. To me, pregnancy is ALWAYS a miracle, whether there’s one baby or three, whether that child was conceived on the first try, or the twentieth, or the 100th with the help of a doctor. Life is miraculous. x

  6. Having read a few triplet blogs, I realise this must be something that people ask often! I’m sorry you have to put up with this.

    There has to be a finite number of people who think it’s okay to ask this. How would you feel about saying something like, “You know, that’s actually none of your business” when you’re asked? I wonder if that would make them stop saying things like this.

    One person at a time! We’ll get through them one by one!

  7. First off thank you for your honesty! I absolutely lived this post. You did an amazing job conveying the feelings of so many moms of multiples. When I was pregnant with my twins (and even now) I was asked all the time “are they natural”? Thus question bothered me so much, of course my boys are natural what else would they be?! I think this question bothered me the most when it came from a stranger, truly that information is none of their business, especially since I don’t even know them. I used clomid to get pregnant and have always been very open to anyone who wants to talk about fertility issues, but I don’t always want to share my story with strangers in the grocery store. You are right when you talked about how people treat babies conceived through IVF or fertility treatments as less special when they are truly miracles. I think to ask a complete stranger if her babies are “natural” is rude and should never be done. If someone is truly interested in fertility treatments, IVF and your individual story there are much nicer ways to begin that discussion. Congratulations on your amazing 3, they are each a miracle and a blessing!

  8. As a mom of twins, I want to say congratulations to having triplets.
    Your statment: “Firstly, just as a side, the parents who have conceived multiple babies ‘spontaneously’, get sick of this question also.” — I want to say that this is NOT true in every case. I do not get tired of people asking me this. I am very proud to have “spontaneously” produced twins. There are two sides to every point of view. It seems as if most of the MoM that complain about this question are those who have had ‘assistance’ in getting pregnant. Yes, your triplets are just as real and ‘natural’ as the “spontaneous” ones. But the truth is assistance was needed and you should be proud of the journey that you traveled to get your blessings. The fact is either it is ‘spontaneous’ (as you say it) or ‘assisted’.

  9. Hi Wendy, I can’t help myself but point out that Caitlin’s triplets WERE spontaneously conceived! Twins would have been as the result of IVF, but (as Caitlin herself pointed out) her triplets are the result of the spontaneous splitting of one of the two fertilised eggs. But then, I’m with Lacey. I don’t think it matters how babies are conceived. They’re all a miracle 🙂

  10. Jodie — agreed that the “spliting” of one egg was ‘spontaneous’ but wasnt the original implantation of two eggs the result of ivf? I am not trying to lable anything, but ultimatley they were ‘conceived’ through ivf. The spontaneous splitting of one of the eggs came after. Yes, every baby is a miracle no mater how they are conceived.

  11. wow heated topic!
    I gotta say my triplets were concieved without IVF or and sort of assistance just plain old sex 🙂
    I have been asked the question numerous time and I too think it’s just plain rude! I don’t think the people asking intend to insult. I do believe though that these people don’t think about what they say before they say it.
    Babies are a miracle. PERIOD.
    In my opinion babies who are concieved with the help of fertility specialist are even MORE of a miracle!!
    Keep your head held high and maybe get a T-shirt made saying “ALL BABIES ARE NATURAL”
    <3

  12. Hi Everyone. Thanks for all your supportive comments. This is certainly a topic which promote discussion.

    Wendy, I agree, perhaps I shouldn’t make the statement on behalf of women who haven’t required assistance to get pregnant. I certainly have heard and read lots of these women comment they are sick of the question. However, you are right, there are many ‘spontaneous’ multiple Mum’s that are very proud to point out that this happened without any help. I would hazard a guess that the reason that you don’t consider this question offensive, is that you do not receive the negative reactions that ART Mum’s receive. I would guess you are more likely to hear comments resembling, “Wow, that really is incredible!”

    There kind of seems to me to be an undercurrent of snobbish sentiments even amongst multiple Mum’s, but really, once the kids are born, parenting multiples presents the same challenges, regardless of how they are conceived.

    I think that we are unanimous that babies are a miracle. There’s no use splitting hairs on whether it is more miraculous to have a couple who were guaranteed to spend a lifetime childless conceive more than one child with assistance, compared to a couple who had a genetic predisposition to have multiples or a lady who has more brittle or older eggs that have split. Each pregnancy and child is just as special.

  13. Oh yes, and Danni. I would hazard a guess if this is your attitude behind the question, the discussion that would follow my answer would not be offensive to me at all. As I said, some people are really nice and can ask awkward questions in the nicest possible way. It’s just a case of being compassionate and sensitive.

  14. Wendy, I think some of what you shared was illuminating in regards to the ‘stigma’ of IVF. To say you are ‘proud’ to tell people that you spontaneously produced twins seems to suggest that women who carries multiples as a result of assisted conception should be ‘ashamed’ or that their own children aren’t as miraculous or special, that they can’t be as proud of their pregnancies and children. I trust that’s not the case, of course. If you felt that way, you probably wouldn’t bother to be reading here or commenting. But, it is, I suppose, a good example of the way that the language that’s used can insinuate a prejudice, even if that’s not the intent or heart behind the comment.

  15. People are so rude. I did not have multiples or need to have IVF but had a couple of miscarriages. All children are a gift from God. My youngest had a teacher that had to have IVF and was able to get pregnant with twins but lost one of them during the pregnancy. How wonderful that you will have three. My mother had a friend that had triplets after going off birth control two were identical. Leanna

  16. What I can’t get over is how free people feel to comment on any and every aspect of pregnancy, birth, and child-rearing!

    I was so afraid to tell anyone that I ultimately needed anti-nausea meds to make myself function with the extreme morning sickness I experienced during one pregnancy (while I worked full-time and enjoyed puking in the trash can frequently). I was then afraid to tell the check-out clerks I was past my due date because they would feel compelled to share their random horror stories about their aunty so and so who was SO late that she had a 12 lb baby! Then I was afraid to tell anyone that I had to have pitocin to establish a regular pattern of labor after being a week overdue and having non-productive labor for 4 days. Finally, I didn’t want to tell ANYONE that I had an epidural after my water broke and I was exhausted after 4 days of prelabor and frankly, just wanted it to hurt less. Yes, I’m totally over how opinionated and nosey people can be. I can only imagine the comments if I’d been carrying multiples!! I developed a smarter mouth with my next 2 babies and had a ready answer for all the old ducks asking if I planned to “go natural” with this one!

    A side note – my sister-in-law had twins and every single time I was out with her in public she was asked if they were “natural” or if “twins ran in the family” – to which she truthfully answered, “Why yes they do!” And walked away knowing it wasn’t what the inquirer really wanted to ask. 😉

  17. were i to ask…it would be because we are embarking on this journey ourselves, after having spent 2 years trying and after 2 miscarriages. we are supposed to start clomid soon…after we get the results of our tests soon. if we were to be blessed with twins/triplets or more and they were all healthy and happy we would be SO blessed!

  18. So freaking rude. I can picture you kindly saying something like, “I actually don’t feel comfortable discussing that with you, thanks!” And you’d be well within your rights to say that.

    You’re right about it being the attitude behind a question that makes the most difference. Also whether you KNOW the person!

    I HATED strangers or mere acquaintances fondling my tummy or interrogating me about the baby’s sex or due date. They don’t even CARE about your journey, they’re just entering your details into some stupid mental spreadsheet where they compare you to other people.

    Yet, when you’re with someone who’s expressing joy and wonder over your baby/babies, you’ll often feel like telling them everything! I let a 16 year old girl I didn’t really know feel my baby kicking just because she was amazed and overjoyed by the whole thing! Her mouth and eyes were wide with astonishment as her hands felt him kicking, and it was so sweet.

    Someone else dispassionately put their hands on my tummy at the shops, just to check goodness knows what. I grabbed their wrists and shoved them away with the most violent look I could muster.

    It’s all about their attitude!

  19. I agree that ALL children are precious & as special as each other, but I also think that multiples born without assistance are more miraculous – it’s all happened just so without any human intervention. Of course God is involved in all processes of life but what a surprise to suddenly be carrying multiples “spontaneously” when you probably never even considered the possibility.
    Having said all that, this discussion has opened my eyes to the rudeness of ‘the question’ and I will certainly watch what I say & be sure not to judge. Please don’t take offence at my statement, this is just my personal opionion.

  20. In some religions IVF is to go against God, if God wanted a couple to bare children he would have given them children. People’s interest in this matter is somewhat normal. Whether or not they approve of it should be kept to themselves

  21. IVF is to go against god ?? Im sure if god really didnt want couples to conceive he would make it so , regarless if it was with the help of science or not.IVF is a harder way to conceive and i beleive god choses only the stronger people for the harder task’s in life.

    And somethings should be kept between a man and woman- i would never ask the question, some people can have all the manners in the world and can still be rude by not minding there own business.. be fruitfull and multiply 🙂

  22. Infertility – whether it is diagnosed or not – is a medical problem. It is not a lack of faith. It is not about ‘God not wanting you to have bear children’. Please never say that to someone experiencing infertility. It’s hurtful.

    If I break my arm, I don’t just say, “Oh well, I guess God wants me to have a broken arm”. I will go to a doctor and get it fixed. So if you are having trouble conceiving, it is perfectly reasonable to seek medical help. My two children are gifts from God. But they’re also the result of medical assistance. The two are not mutually exclusive.

    When I hear people say they are against IVF, I’m interested to know what aspect of IVF they’re against. IVF is a series of processes. It is possible (as Caitlin has done) to proceed with IVF in a way that aligns with a Christian’s belief that life begins at conception and should be honoured and protected.

    Sorry to hijack the discussion about multiples, Caitlin 🙂

  23. Hijack away Jodie! I always love a good debate, and I’m thrilled that this post has provoked discussion. I think people are entitled to their opinions, and people are entitled to disagree. The key to being tolerant is to disagree in a way that is still respectful to the other person. I think this is happening here, so feel free to continue to debate away people! I think my position is fairly clear, but it’s interesting to read others perspectives, and nod away with those I agree.

    And as far as this being a personal decision and the other couple should talk about it, surely the decision of whether it’s so personal that you don’t discuss it with anyone apart from your spouse or if you choose to share your story with others. I think that’s a personal decision as well. There is many religious and secular controversial issues out there and I don’t often here people saying that you shouldn’t voice your opinion about other issues. It’s kind of going backwards to say IVF shouldn’t be open to dicussion, probably because it has a connection to sex, and some people can’t get past the fact that in the appropriate situation it’s healthy to discuss sexual issues.

  24. Jodie, I laughed at your comment about God wanting you to have a broken arm. Brilliant analogy.

    Caitlin, I came to read your blog through Lacey’s and until today I had no idea that your triplets are as a result of IVF. I honestly thought that they were ‘spontaneous’. Either way you are blessed. Thank you for sharing your journey.

    One of my closest friends is struggling with infertility and IVF seems to not be an option for her. Adoption & foster children are her only option. Our struggles in life make us stronger and help us to grow closer to God.

    Jackie

  25. Just wanted to say I really admire you Caitlin! When you were trying to conceive and it wasn’t happening, you proactively started a group to encourage other women who were also trying to conceive. Now your a super Mum with the same generous spirit and passion. One reason you probably get asked is you are such a friendly, approachable person who shines Jesus. Every child (especially 3 in one womb!) is a complete and utter miracle made by God and people who make you feel otherwise can’t see properly.

  26. Infertility is a heart wrenching daily struggle for women everywhere. We all face it differently and place our sensitivity in areas where we struggled the most. I loved your post! I personally have not been over run with the IVF question. Perhaps it is more feasible to believe that twins come without IVF. When people see or hear that I have two sets of twins – the question I get is – Do they run in the family. This is a hard question to answer, becasue they do – but that is not why I have two sets. One was through adoption and the other IVF. I can’t easily answer this question while the grocery clerk is packaging my bags! Anyway – thanks for your post! Hang in there Caitlin!

  27. People can be so rude in all aspects of fertility, pregnancy etc. I’ve had it from all sides. I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant with a singleton and I’ve gotten so sick of people’s comments about my size that I lie now when they ask how far along I am just to avoid the look of shock. I am growing a big strong healthy boy and it’s my 3rd big boy in 4 years my belly is bound to be large. Then the gender question ‘Do you know what you’re having’so I answer happily ‘Yes another baby boy’ then the look of pity and rude comments about how disappointed I must be. Sure I’d love a girl but I spent thousands of dollars, injected myself hundreds of times and had 7 failed IVF cycles before being blessed with this precious boy – I couldn’t be further from disappointed. As everyone has said all babies are miracles from GOD (yeah peeps even the IVF ones) and who cares if there’s 1, 2 or 3 or if they are boys or girls or if their mother looks like a beached whale. Let’s celebrate them all.

  28. When my trio were newborns, I always offered more information than I wanted to offer. Then after the fact, I would come up with a dozen comebacks to say, should this conversation happen again. I always felt backed in a corner and ended up confessing what really should be none of their business. It took a couple more years, before I became brash enough to not offer any details at all. Now, if I’m asked if they are natural, I politely say Yes, and walk away. Their version of natural and my version of natural way be different. But my kids are natural. Plain, simple, end of discussion. Mine are 5 years old and I still get asked. I don’t think people are trying to be rude – they just don’t realize you have been asked this question 5768959205 times before. And it gets tiring to repeat the same explanation over and over. Bottom line is – do what you feel is right for you and don’t feel bad about it. Don’t let others make you feel obligated to give your history. It’s so relaxing to just say “yes” and go on about your business.

  29. I am a Mum of twins and even though I had four children under four, people still asked if they were IVF. What’s it to them? They don’t ask if you had a C-section, or if you breast fed them or anything else. No-one’s business. Glad your triplets (she bows down) are happy and healthy, however they were conceived. Thanks for Rewinding x

  30. Hiya

    I’m blessed Mum to IVF-ICSI twin girls. They are nearly 12 now. It was believed that they were originally triplets, but I lost one at around 12 weeks.

    I got fed up with the “are they natural question.” I felt like people thought that having IVF was “cheating” somehow.

    My mother and sister had twins “spontaneously”, so often I just explain that it runs in the family and leave it at that.

  31. Excellent post!

    I hope you don’t mind me weighing in as I have not undergone fertility treatments but I have experienced the questioning. I try to push the spontaneous term (vs “natural”) to help educate people or at least prevent them from sticking their foot in their mouth again!

    I try to be patient and remember that the questions come from people’s curiosity and most are with out judgement (though also without tact). A triplet belly is not open season on tactless questioning. I think the worst question was asked of my husband, “what is the survivability of triplets?” WHO asks that? If it is not okay to ask that of a parent expecting one, why three?

    Our children (yours, mine) have no difference in the amount that they are cherished and loved.

  32. I have triplets (via IUI), and I too am so sick of being asked this question. And it’s always by complete strangers. One lady asked last Sunday when we were at a friends 30th birthday afternoon and she tagged on the end ‘Im sorry but you have to ask dont you’, to which I replied, ‘No you dont have to ask, I find its only the rude people that HAVE to ask’.
    I think Im the same as most others here, I dont mind being open and honest about the journey we’ve been on to get our three little people, if the question is asked in the right way, but at other times it just gets my back up. I do feel strongly that its wrong for a stranger to ask the question… I just dont think that kind of information is a first date share!

  33. I am now expecting BBG triplets who will join my two other school-age children. I am continuously offended by this question and every derivative thereof. “Are they natural?”; “Was this planned?”; “Do they run in your family?”; “Were you trying to get pregnant?” – the list gets longer every day. In my case, this was not the result of assisted reproductive technology. Rather, this pregnancy was completely unplanned and the appearance of triplets a 1-in-8,000 pregnancies occurrence. I have watched friends and family alike struggle with infertility; I would never dare to ask and only know what they have chosen to share. Therefore, when I am asked, I tend to answer with the taste of blood in my mouth from biting my tongue. Having multiples is a blessing that comes at a great cost (financially, emotionally, ect). So, even if you undertake an activity that increases your odds of multiples (in my case, it was having sex with my husband over the age of 35 years while relying on birth control), I don’t think anyone is truly ever prepared to hear that you are expecting three. So when a total stranger wants to start to inquire as to how this happened, I most often want to refer them to God because I quite honestly don’t have any other answer. I tell them politely that these babies must be part of a greater plan because they were certainly not part of mine prior to my first ultrasound. I suppose I have yet a lot to learn about being a mother of multiples, but at the end of the day, I have not yet had the incredible urge to invite into my bedroom the general public who wish to comment on my family-planning (or lack thereof in some cases).

    Caitlin – your blog has been a much-needed breath of fresh air on a darker day. I am relieved to see that you and your beautiful family are thriving – it gives me some hope that there are brighter days ahead.

  34. I see this is an ‘old’ post, but definitely still an important topic. As a new granny of a triplet pregnancy, I really feel for my daughter on her journey towards motherhood. People have already asked me the IVF question when I confide the news of her multiples pregnancy. You expressed your feelings about that so well here…It really strikes a chord. Somewhere I read a snarky response that I really liked…”Are you asking whether she has had heterosexual intercourse?” Best wishes to you and your family.

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